When you say a mean word, you strengthen the habituation of meanness.
shenpa - hooked, stuck, urge, touches that sore place
the fundamental root shenpa = ego
secondary shenpa = all the forms of scratching
shenpa is never new. it always has a familiar taste, a famliar smell.
it feels like it's been happening forever.
shenpa is accompanied by this bad feeling, and in the West it's very common to turn it against yourself.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
we don't know their story
We can't know how we would measure up in the circumstances of another person's life.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Anna Politkovskaya's 'Russian Diary'
Nazaryan describes how Politkovskaya vociferously condemned her countrymen's betrayal of the sacrifices which the Soviet dissidents made by yielding to individual desires for comfort and stability over democratic liberties. Alarming as this trend was to her (and me), Nazaryan's mention of Gary Kasparov gave me a small light of hope.
If you have seen the short documentary about Kasparov the chess master playing the computer Deep Blue about ten years ago, you will have become acquainted with the beginning of Kasparov's transformation from single-minded chess genius to political activist. To summarize briefly, with the advent of more complex computer "thinking," it was hotly debated whether a computer could ever "out-think" a human being. Ultimately, this resulted in a match between the computer Deep Blue and Kasparov, who, like many others, thought beating the computer would be a piece of cake. It turned out to be quite otherwise, and the film does an amazing job of showing how this episode turns Kasparov's world upside-down, shaking his confidence completely, and pretty much ruining his chess career.
To me, however, it seemed that the crisis had shaken him from the single-minded, and ultimately pointless, pursuit of retaining his title of chess champion of the world for the rest of his life. It freed up his great gifts to be used elsewhere. And it seems that he has a great passion for Russia and its political future.
It is my hope that more of the Russian people will follow Kasparov in this personal transformation to shift their focus from personal goals to their collective future. Throughout their history, they have undoubtedly shown that capacity.
Like the title of Nadezhda Mandelstam's book, we will "Hope Against Hope." Indeed, "nadezhda" means hope. If Politkovskaya had been able to finish her book, among all her angry words, I'm sure we would have found "nadezhda" somewhere.
If you have seen the short documentary about Kasparov the chess master playing the computer Deep Blue about ten years ago, you will have become acquainted with the beginning of Kasparov's transformation from single-minded chess genius to political activist. To summarize briefly, with the advent of more complex computer "thinking," it was hotly debated whether a computer could ever "out-think" a human being. Ultimately, this resulted in a match between the computer Deep Blue and Kasparov, who, like many others, thought beating the computer would be a piece of cake. It turned out to be quite otherwise, and the film does an amazing job of showing how this episode turns Kasparov's world upside-down, shaking his confidence completely, and pretty much ruining his chess career.
To me, however, it seemed that the crisis had shaken him from the single-minded, and ultimately pointless, pursuit of retaining his title of chess champion of the world for the rest of his life. It freed up his great gifts to be used elsewhere. And it seems that he has a great passion for Russia and its political future.
It is my hope that more of the Russian people will follow Kasparov in this personal transformation to shift their focus from personal goals to their collective future. Throughout their history, they have undoubtedly shown that capacity.
Like the title of Nadezhda Mandelstam's book, we will "Hope Against Hope." Indeed, "nadezhda" means hope. If Politkovskaya had been able to finish her book, among all her angry words, I'm sure we would have found "nadezhda" somewhere.
good advice: the white cat syndrome
sometimes i peep at advice columns here and there. (other people's problems seem so exasperatingly easy to fix.)
here's a typical dilemma: annoying co-worker, driving everyone crazy "makin' copies.," etc. That one came up on salon.com the other day.
The advice given took a very surprising turn, in fact, i was appalled by the guy's callousness and glibness, but that's not what i want to get into right now.
Standard issue advice is either: treat with kindness and take the offender aside, or a sort of behavior modification technique, enlisting your office-mates to guide the social misfit into figuring out that he needs to tone it down.
But what i wanted to relate is a very insightful response by a reader, and a nicely named concept she employs.
re: fighting the white cat syndrome
In response to those who think the LW should try being nice to the guy, treating him as a human being, etc. - that's a good point.
Most human beings have, to some degree, an instinctive, ugly, cruel reaction to socially defective people. My husband and I call it "white cat syndrome" because we used to own one white cat with epilepsy, and another white cat without. The two cats were friends most of the time, but whenever the epileptic cat had a seizure, the other cat would leap on her and try to rip her throat out. He was a charming, playful, non-violent animal most of the time - he caught and released a bird in our house once - but he was quite sincere in his belief that the epileptic cat was fucked-up and needed to die, and that we humans had no right to an opinion in the matter.
Why is it that annoying people annoy us? Is it really any skin off anyone's nose that the co-worker expresses himself by using quotes from TV shows? Does it actually have any real effect on the letter writer's surroundings? Why does witnessing social incompetence inspire fury?
It does, though. You know it does, and I know it does. I suspect this fury is instinctive, a purely animal reaction to a human animal who doesn't function well within the group.
I also believe that the first step towards getting control of any instinct is to notice that it's an instinct.
Next time you find yourself being annoyed by your co-worker, pay attention to what's happening within your own mind. Watch yourself getting annoyed. Is the annoyance anything that can be logically explained? Or is it an instinctive reaction that says someone who's a dysfunctional member of the tribe should be put down?
Once you have a handle on what's happening inside your own head, it will be easier to deal appropriately (and kindly) with the co-worker's behavior. The solution may be complex, involving tolerance of some behaviors, confrontation over others, and an attempt to educate him about still others. One thing is certain, you will be able to come up with a better solution if you can get control of your own reactions first.
-- Allie_
Clearly Allie meditates and practices mindfulness.
In the future, if i find myself in a similar situation, i will try "the white cat practice."
re: the ugly, cruel reaction we have toward socially defective people, suddenly i am feeling guilty about watching American Idol. The early auditions, where the producers deliberately put the strangest and most unaware of their lack of talent in front of the judges. I feel uncomfortable when they let clearly mentally ill or autistic people audition, but the merely weird, i don't have much problem ridiculing.
here's a typical dilemma: annoying co-worker, driving everyone crazy "makin' copies.," etc. That one came up on salon.com the other day.
The advice given took a very surprising turn, in fact, i was appalled by the guy's callousness and glibness, but that's not what i want to get into right now.
Standard issue advice is either: treat with kindness and take the offender aside, or a sort of behavior modification technique, enlisting your office-mates to guide the social misfit into figuring out that he needs to tone it down.
But what i wanted to relate is a very insightful response by a reader, and a nicely named concept she employs.
re: fighting the white cat syndrome
In response to those who think the LW should try being nice to the guy, treating him as a human being, etc. - that's a good point.
Most human beings have, to some degree, an instinctive, ugly, cruel reaction to socially defective people. My husband and I call it "white cat syndrome" because we used to own one white cat with epilepsy, and another white cat without. The two cats were friends most of the time, but whenever the epileptic cat had a seizure, the other cat would leap on her and try to rip her throat out. He was a charming, playful, non-violent animal most of the time - he caught and released a bird in our house once - but he was quite sincere in his belief that the epileptic cat was fucked-up and needed to die, and that we humans had no right to an opinion in the matter.
Why is it that annoying people annoy us? Is it really any skin off anyone's nose that the co-worker expresses himself by using quotes from TV shows? Does it actually have any real effect on the letter writer's surroundings? Why does witnessing social incompetence inspire fury?
It does, though. You know it does, and I know it does. I suspect this fury is instinctive, a purely animal reaction to a human animal who doesn't function well within the group.
I also believe that the first step towards getting control of any instinct is to notice that it's an instinct.
Next time you find yourself being annoyed by your co-worker, pay attention to what's happening within your own mind. Watch yourself getting annoyed. Is the annoyance anything that can be logically explained? Or is it an instinctive reaction that says someone who's a dysfunctional member of the tribe should be put down?
Once you have a handle on what's happening inside your own head, it will be easier to deal appropriately (and kindly) with the co-worker's behavior. The solution may be complex, involving tolerance of some behaviors, confrontation over others, and an attempt to educate him about still others. One thing is certain, you will be able to come up with a better solution if you can get control of your own reactions first.
-- Allie_
Clearly Allie meditates and practices mindfulness.
In the future, if i find myself in a similar situation, i will try "the white cat practice."
re: the ugly, cruel reaction we have toward socially defective people, suddenly i am feeling guilty about watching American Idol. The early auditions, where the producers deliberately put the strangest and most unaware of their lack of talent in front of the judges. I feel uncomfortable when they let clearly mentally ill or autistic people audition, but the merely weird, i don't have much problem ridiculing.
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